Thursday, October 27, 2005

Not much, I just want to keep you in the loop, I saw crows pecking a rabbit, other than that, nothing special.

There are only three essays left to do, one of which is about 20 pages long, give or take five. One is half written and one is easy enough. Two exams, both of which suck, but I'll deal with that when I come to it. Overall, I'm still pretty stressed out about school, but I'm thankful that it's no where near as bad as last year.

I'm almost down to the hem on eris, I got a fair amount done on the weekend, but now it's back to the grind stone.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

My cat tells me to procrastinate, how can I refuse?

Granny knitter
You may not be a granny, but you've got the
mentality. Hard work and artistic vision lead
to your beautiful knitted results.

Are you a knitter?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, October 17, 2005

pipe dreams in the rain

I have read so much of late, I fear if I blink, blood would flow from my eyes. My essay was due last weekend and I haven’t covered a quarter of the minimal required material. Only four classes and I am ploughed. Today I plan to audit one of my classes. I have to talk with the instructor first (if he makes it to class given the illegal general strike in this city) before I officially remove myself from the class. I feel so lost today, I feel inadequate. It is for my own defect that I cannot keep up, but I do not know how I can fix this. I am floating.

More and more of late I want to give up the academic track. I know that I love this more than anything else I have ever done, but a great deal of academia is manufactured stress. The competition (not just for grades) manufactured between people is the most important thing in their lives. But I don’t find it important and I grow tired of pretending that it is. What is important to me in regards to academia then? Doing my best and discovering what my personal limits are then trying to surpass them is important to me. The opportunity to spend my life in an environment that encourages learning and provides me with the opportunity to teach others is important to me. Is that enough? Is it worth the stress my perfectionist self imposes on my defective aspects? I am so driven that my health suffers.

I consider farm life; about 20 archers somewhere, perhaps in Europe. A few animals including goats, geese, sheep (and perhaps sheepdog), chickens and perhaps alpacas would make me happy and keep me busy. A kitchen garden and small fields with larger crops like potatoes and squash then one or two main crops on the property. I would be almost entirely self sufficient with only a few hours work in the morning, a few hours come evening and the rest of the day to potter about the farm or read/write philosophy while I sip wine I made from my vineyard. In the evening I would knit or spin yarn from my creatures. But that hermit life is a pipe dream.

The picture today is a painting of perfection, a place I want to live so much that my recollection of it surpasses any perfection the location can actually possess.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Cat and Girl

Cat and Girl

This my first attempt at a track back, so here goes.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Works of Love

While reading Kierkegaard I wonder, What is faith?
Faith requires love, but what is love?
Is it dependent on trust?
I’m not good with trust.

When I ask someone I perceive to have faith, what it is to have faith, they respond, don’t you have faith that the world around you exists and that it will continue to follow causal laws &c.?
Not really.
I imagine that anyone who knows me must be able to see this with the greatest of easy.
But then again, I have to live with myself.
They don’t.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

More about the very weird dream

I forgot to mention, the man/person in my dream also told me to cover my beans and beat with glass or they will never come to fruition. It’s a good idea considering the weather is turning coldish.

I took some time out yesterday, for the first time this term I might add, to watch Law and Order and also some Lexx while I knit eris. But then I realized that on top of my three exams and two papers, I might have an essay due next Sunday (email submission) on Kierkegaard’s Works of Love. Now I’m a slow reader. In one day, I read 39 pages (it’s dense going and I have all these other texts to read, give me a break) out of 378 pages. So if we did the math, factor in the fact that I have to read and include In Vino Veritas among other related works of my choosing, I reach the conclusion that there is no physically possibility that I will have this essay done in time. SHIT!

I’m starting to feel a little ploughed.

I know the pressure is my own. I know that it is not serious stuff and that nobody is going to live or die depending on which word I yank out of the thesaurus. I do enjoy this pressure, but at times like this it feels too much. My heart quickens, my chest tightens, adrenaline wonders around my system looking for some immediate threat. It’s exhausting. And what do I do about it? I write a blog. I waist time. I wait.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

OK, Very Weird Dream:

Perhaps it comes from reading all this “religious philosophy” (both Kierkegaard and medieval Arabic philosophy, not to mention good old stinking Descartes) this term, but I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt a normal sized man, so large that his face was indistinguishable or perhaps, unintelligible. Either way, his Form was hidden from my senses; I knew he was there, but all I could discern of him was his words. Even so, his words were not English, but I understood their content if not their meaning. This man told me I must read the Ibn Rushd text next, it’s important. When he left, Ibn Rushd came next, and said to me, “did you see that? It was Muhammad.”

Now that is one weird dream.

Going back to Kierkegaard, there was a comment asking for clarification on divine love. I haven’t begun the text yet, so I’m uncertain to which kind it is referring. This is not something I have any experience with. But, trust me, I will let you know more about it when I do.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

eating salty gravy

The reading report for Kierkegaard’s Fear and Trembling is in. There wasn’t much I wanted to change; my first draft was surprisingly polished. It’s one of those papers that just flowed like ink from a gold nib. The first draft I wrote out in a few hours, the revisions had me up an entire night. The problem is that there is so much depth to SK’s work, how can I choose what to talk about in a paper with limited space? And I so do love to express what I’ve learnt

My next SK works to read are Works of Love and In Vino Veritas. These are both works on divine love. I would love some thoughts from people with experience with this. What was said on the earlier post was most helpful.

Besides SK, I have two, or is it three?, exams coming up. One for Phil of Mind, it’s a no-brainer; I just have to spend an hour or so going over the text book. Another one for Rationalists; it’s entirely Descartes (supper fun – NOT!). f’ing Descartes makes E’Bert grumpy. The third test is for Medieval Islamic writings. That should be interesting. Two other assignments to write. I think, after studying for exams I’m going to put everything else on hold for a week and write my Mind essay. It shouldn’t bee hard.

That’s my life right now. Aside from a few other things I’m not going to go into on my blog that is. I have very little knitting time, so eris is going slow. I should have him finished before the weather turns supper/super cold.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Funny thing make me go ha ha

So I know it's been all over the media already, but just in case you haven't seen it yet, pop by and have a look.
I have been touched by his Noodly Appendage!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Another one?!? WTF?! Two boils in one month, honestly, what the Heck is going on here?

Yesterday was most likely the last day this year that I can head out without a coat. It’s getting quite chilly out there, so I’m knitting myself some new arm warmers. In fact, I’m considering wearing a hat and scarf today, but it might be a bit much. Maybe just the hat, but if I go that far, why not wear a light scarf too? It’s so hard to decide what to wear.

Eris is still coming along nicely. I’m on the torso, so it’s plain stst in the round for the next few weeks. It’s such a lovely sweater, but I miss doing the cables. I can hardly wait to get to the hem.

Philosophy is something I love so much! Today I meet with my directed studies group for lunch (and beer), which means I have to miss the Philosophy Student Union meeting (bad) and miss my Phil of Mind class where we are doing group work (good). Directed studies are in my opinion the best thing in the world. I want to take at least one per term for the rest of my stay at this institution (total of six). That is, if they will let me.

Speaking about class, I had best finish my essay on Kierkegaard’s Fear and Trembling this morning, and hopefully finish my letter to jenshine so I can pop it in the post.

I’ll add some pictures I’ve taken around home lately.

And while I'm at it:

Sunday, October 02, 2005

just look what Procrastination can achieve:

I’ve created my very own discussion group. This is mostly because there just aren’t that many places out there where you can discuss Philosophy seriously. Now I just need to create a cool button and get things rolling.

Philosophy Major’s Unite

Researching philosophy, but don’t know where to turn? Concept not quite clear, need to discuss it? Existentialism being extra hard? Feeling like Leibniz hit the dust? Just plain passionate about philosophy? You’ve come to the right place. A discussion group for Graduate and Undergraduate philosophy students alike.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Sick as a dog. Now that is a funny expression.

I now have a wish list. If I'm not mistaken, you can access it from this address.